We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize