He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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