It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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