He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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