My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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