Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
