Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
