Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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