My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
