youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
