he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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