he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
