so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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