Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?