I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.