I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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