apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.