wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
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So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.