Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.