But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dating After Heartbreak
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there