he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for