I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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