she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
zippers are such a cool invention
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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