Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize