1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
