Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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