3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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