we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
