Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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