i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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