dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
