don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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