I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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