Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This is classic penis vs brain.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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