I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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