When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize