I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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