You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
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judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
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You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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