he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
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I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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