you win again, gameday.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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