garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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