You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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