I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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