Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
