Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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