3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
