I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize