yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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