Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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