Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
