I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
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It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!