CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?