If i come over, it means nothing
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?