I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
