they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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