I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
